Leaving
by PacificRomance
Summary: Come on, Chuck. When was the last time you ever did something for me? You made it blatantly obvious a long time ago that you could care less about me." He looked her in the eye as he replied, “That’s not true.”


A/N: I know I should be updating "Companion" and I'm sorry it is taking so long, but hopefully I'll update that this weekend-ish.

I have this idea for a while, not for Chuck and Blair, but then I started reconsidering it for them and I had to write it.

……………………………………….

"Why did you do it?"

He startled and looked up when the door slammed against the wall of his office to see a fiery brunette standing there with her hands on her hips. His secretary came up behind her looking very flustered. With a wave of his hand he dismissed the woman, who quickly shut the door and went back to her desk.

He took a deep breath and stood. He walked around and leaned against his desk before he replied, "I have no idea what you're-"

"Oh stop with the ignorant act, Chuck." She interrupted bitterly, "My husband needs a special treatment which is only available in an extremely exclusive program that not even the Waldorf name and fortune can get him into, but one word from Bass Industries and the next day he's in. Why? Why did you do it?"

"Serena told me-"  
"I didn't ask how you found out. I asked why you saved him."

"I did it for you."

"For me?" She laughed bitterly, "Come on, Chuck. When was the last time you ever did something for _me_? You made it blatantly obvious a long time ago that you could care less about me."

"That's not true."

She glared at him, "It's not? Really? Because, as I remember it, _you_ were the one who broke up with _me_. _You_ were the one who said we weren't worth the fight. _You_ were the one who left _me_ behind and moved to freaking England." She spat as she gestured around his office dramatically, "_You_ were the one who gave up; not _me_."

"Blair-,"

"No, I'm not finished. You just left, Chuck. When exactly was it that you were _caring_ about me? Was it when you were refusing to even be in the same city as me? You wouldn't come back; not for Eric's graduation, or Serena's wedding, or even Nate's wedding! I have some self-respect, you know. I wasn't just sitting around pining for you. It was like you were scared I was going to throw myself at you if you came back."

"Blair, that wasn't why-"

"And they defended you!" She cut him off again, "When you didn't show, I would make a comment and they all stood up for you, even Nate! He had to have Humpty-Dumpty stand as his best man and he wasn't upset with you. You're his best friend, you should have been there."

"I know." He said softly, looking down at the ground. "When I got their invitations, I called them each personally and explained the situation, and they understood."

She glared at him with her hands on her hips, "What situation are you talking about?"

He pinched the bridge of his nose before he looked at her and responded a bit harsher than he intended, "The problem wasn't that I didn't want to be in the same room as you, it was that I _did_ want to. I didn't think-, I didn't think I would be able to stay away from you and leave you alone. It would have been too hard to be so close to you and still stay away from you."

He could see the retort she had ready on her tongue before she actually absorbed the words he said and her face fell in confusion.

"I left because I didn't deserve you," he continued in a quieter tone, "I was never good enough for you. I was cold-hearted and vindictive. I let you go because I knew you deserved better than that. I stayed away to make it easier for you. You deserved better than all the heartache and hurt I caused you. I let you go and left because I love you and for once in my life I actually cared about what was best for someone else before myself. All I wanted was for you to be happy."

She looked at him with tears in her eyes, "I was happy with you."

He shook his head and smirked, "But it wouldn't have stayed that way, and you know it. Our relationship was always so up and down, I would have fucked up sooner or later. I never could have given you what you wanted, and your husband has. You have the kids and the house and the freaking white picket fence. You have everything you've ever dreamed of. And you're happy, aren't you?"

"Yes, Chuck, I'm happy. But I could have been ten times happier with _you_! It could have been our kids, our house, our life! _That's_ what I always dreamed of."

He looked into her eyes and tilted his head, "Come on, Blair, you know it wouldn't have been like that. Nothing with us is that easy." He looked down and ran his hand over his desk casually, trying to distract himself.

"So then why did you do it?" Her question caused his head to snap back up to look at her, "If you still love me, why did you save his life?"

"Because he's your husband and you love him. He's the leading man you've always wanted. He makes you happy and you need him."

Her brow knitted in confusion, "Chuck, I still don't understand why-, what that has to do with…"

"I love you, Blair," He explained slowly, "I love you so much that your happiness is more important than my own. And he makes you happy. You love him, you have a whole life with him, and I couldn't bear the thought of you losing the man you love; the man who makes you happy."

"Chuck, I-"

He held up a hand and shook his head, quieting her, "I didn't do this to win you back." He snorted softly, "I actually didn't even want you to find out."

"Did you really think Serena would be able to keep her mouth shut?" She teased gently as she stepped towards him.

He ran a hand through his hair, "No. I should have known better." Seeing her approach, he instantly stood up straight, "Blair, I didn't do this as some sort of scheme. I got him the treatment for you, because you deserve happiness."

"I know" She said as she approached. She placed a hand on his face and pressed a soft kiss to his cheek. Her hand drifted to his chest as she moved back, "Thank you." She whispered before she turned and went back to the door.

Her hand was on the handle before she turned with a sad smile on her face, "I don't know how I got so lucky. My husband it the kindest, most understanding man I've ever meant. I told him right from the beginning that a huge part of my heart would always belong to someone else, and he didn't care. He still accepted me and loved me."

"Blair-,"

"Look, Chuck, he makes me happy and I love him, but I'm always going to love you. A part of me is always going to belong to you and dream about what we could have been."

He would never admit it, even to himself, but there was a hint of tears in his eyes as he watched her open the door.

She looked back once more as she stepped out of his office, "Thank you, again, Chuck. You didn't have to do it; any of it."

He smirked half-heartedly, "For you, I'd do it all again."

She smiled as she closed the door. He went back around his desk and sat down, wiping his hand over his face and taking a deep breath. Seeing her again had been just as difficult as he imagined it would be. She was even more perfect than he remembered. Leaving her was probably the hardest thing he had ever done, and if she had stayed any longer, he might not have been able to let her go again.

…………..

*Epilogue? Maybe….let me know what you think!


End file.
